


falling

by fivethirtyone-screens (intensecomplexity)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Character Study, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:22:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5843218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intensecomplexity/pseuds/fivethirtyone-screens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she was meant to fly, but she felt like she was falling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	falling

Kara Zor-El could fly; she was meant to fly. 

 

Kara Danvers  _ felt _ like she could fly, but most of the time she felt like she was falling. 

 

Crashing into a new planet without any preparation started it all. She was tasked to follow and protect her younger cousin, but it didn’t work out as planned. By the time she woke from stasis Kal-El had grown up into a man named Clark Kent who no longer needed her help. He grew up  _ as _ a human and learned to embrace his powers for the sake of his new home. 

 

She had to learn everything in reverse. 

 

Where Kal-El had to adapt to being Kryptonian, Kara had to adapt to being human. There were simple days, but more often than not there were days where it felt like she was a young bird learning to take flight. Powers that could easily be alleviated back on Krypton took significant work on Earth. Clark would coach her through the days her powers would manifest, but he wasn’t constantly there. 

 

She could try to fly, but sometimes it felt like she was stumbling in mid-air. 

 

Being at home was safe and being with Alex made her feel as  _ normal _ as the next person on Earth. Even though her powers were there, she never had a reason to use them. Earth had Superman and it was obvious he could hold his own and protect the world. To her, it meant she could devote her time to being  _ human _ . It was easier  _ being _ Alex’s little sister, the Danvers’ daughter, and Clark Kent’s cousin. 

 

At least, it felt easier than being Kal-El’s cousin and remembering that they were the only Kryptonians on Earth. 

 

It was always tough when that thought would enter her mind. Sometimes she could get through it and go on with her day, but the nights when she dreamt of her parents were the always difficult. She would wake up in a cold sweat, completely confused about the bed she laid alone in. A few seconds would pass until reality shoved itself back into her face, reminding her that her parents and her life had  _ exploded _ into oblivion several years prior. 

 

Life still went on and she felt like she was coping better with that loss. Alex was always there for her, to  _ ground _ her, but sometimes it wasn’t enough. Clark would be there and be her  _ cousin _ \-- be that piece of family she rarely admitted she sought after, and just fly. 

 

Except… flying with Clark  _ or _ Kal-El felt more like falling when she saw him so calm and collected.  _ He _ flew with an ease that left her frustrated and envious. It made her wonder when she would finally soar freely without  _ any _ restraint and  _ just  _ be. 

 

It made her wonder when she could fly as  _ Kara _ . Zor-El or Danvers, they became the same person no matter how Kryptonian the former was against the latter.

 

The thought came to a screeching halt when she started working for Cat Grant. The infuriatingly abrasive woman sent her into a freefall. Everything she knew and everything she had together fell apart. Being Cat Grant’s assistant wasn’t easy; the harsh behaviour and razor-sharp comments were enough to leave, but she couldn’t follow through. 

 

Not when Cat Grant made her see the world through a different lens. 

 

Falling stopped feeling like an absolutely bad thing, not when she found herself gliding about with some semblance of flight.

 

Until she became Supergirl  _ and _ Cat Grant’s assistant. Being branded by her own boss and constantly walking on eggshells to keep herself from being found out-- she was diving head first into the ground. She always worried that someone would find out who she was and take away the life she finally  _ had _ . 

 

Superman could be Kal-El or Clark Kent, but Supergirl could only be Kara, Zor-El or Danvers. She never saw the need to change her name to conceal who she was. She didn’t expect to join her cousin and have their family crest emblazoned on her chest. Except, she did and now she had to be careful.

 

One slip and it would be over. 

 

There were times when the line between Supergirl and Kara Danvers would blur. Those were the trying times. How would she explain Kara Danvers’ sudden injuries that came in time with Supergirl’s disappearance? How would she explain Supergirl’s appearance and Kara Danvers’ disappearance at work? The rare times where she would slip between personas while wearing the wrong outfit really had her feel like she was about to crash. 

 

Luckily, no one ever really noticed. 

 

Eventually, a vague routine set itself up. Winn and James would help her back at CatCo while she had Alex at the DEO. Things often fell into place. She didn’t have to hide whoever she was with any of them. She could be Kara-- Zor-El, Danvers or Supergirl, and it would be okay. 

 

What wasn’t okay were the feelings that rushed through her whenever Cat Grant’s safety was being threatened. She initially thought nothing of it, but the times where the woman’s emotional safety was being tested, she felt the need to try and help Cat through it. When the woman’s physical safety was being tested-- 

 

_ “I refuse to lose her!” _ she screamed in her mind. 

 

Sometimes, she felt like a giant puppy so she could keep Cat happy. Other times, she felt like a giant guard dog just to protect the other woman. Then, there were times where she merely existed and wanted to hold Cat tight and tell her everything would be okay. Cat’s humanity and mortality moved to the forefront of her mind. The woman who had her falling, gliding, and sometimes flying became a large part of her life.

 

She was still falling.

 

But, in a different way.

 

She thought everything was ruined when Cat forced her to reveal herself. The hard work she put in just to conceal her  _ other side _ , and all Cat had to do was ask her to remove her glasses. The woman had figured her out and she waited for that triumphant, smug smile to appear.

 

Instead, there was a gentle smile and soft words of gratitude. 

 

Why did falling have to hurt? She hadn’t even crashed, yet. She didn’t feel like she hit the ground at all, but it was getting hard to breathe. 

 

The way Cat gave her small smiles across the office, other little gestures that would often times go unnoticed by other colleagues-- it made her heart clench. She would dismiss them and think that the older woman wanted  _ that story _ after knowing who she was, but her secret remained as it was. Days would pass and she was still Kara Danvers,  _ daughter _ of the Danvers. It worried her that  _ her story _ would find itself on the front page when she let her guard down, but that  _ smile _ and that  _ look _ Cat gave her after one night’s patrol… 

  
She wasn’t the only one falling. 

**Author's Note:**

> chilling @531screens on tumblr.


End file.
